Taylor Swift’s 9th studio album, Evermore, was released four weeks ago. We have been listening to it on repeat ever since then, and no, we are not exaggerating. We decided to take it upon ourselves to rank the album from least favorite to favorite (not worst to best because it is not in Taylor Swift’s DNA to write a bad song.)

15. Cowboy Like Me:

First of all, don’t be deceived by the title of this song like we were, it is in fact NOT a country song. “Cowboy Like Me” has been, and will probably remain, in the bottom half of the ranking for eternity. However, upon the 23rd listen of the album, our feelings of distaste towards the song have begun to somewhat rub off. We would be lying if we said we weren’t slightly bobbing our heads to the beat while writing this ranking. 

14. Happiness:

“Happiness” was a song of much debate between the two of us. While it was neither of our favs, Caroline ranked it below “Dorthea” (offensive.) Tanner on the other hand feels that the lyrics of the song cause it to be a bit higher on the list, at least above “Dorthea”. Overall, it’s slow and a hard song to listen to all the way through. It would get the skip 7.75 times out of 10 and can only be listened to while in a very specific state of mind, and not a happy one, despite the title. 

13. Closure: 

With “Closure”, there’s no middle ground. There are things we love and things we hate. The intro for the song is very unique with the harmonization of lots of different instruments. The verses are also catchy and fun. However, the chorus and bridge are just not doing it for us. Overall, the song has a lot going on and feels somewhat chaotic upon listening. But we still like it a lot. We don’t need your “closure”, we just need this album.

12. Dorothea: 

“Dorothea’s” placement on this list was one of much debate between us. While Caroline really enjoyed the calm vibe of the song, Tanner disliked it and believed it should be ranked last, but alas a compromise must be made. I, Tanner, believe the slander that has been made to “Happiness”, “Cowboy Like Me”, and “Closure” by ranking “Dorthea” above them is, in a word, unforgivable. 

11. Tolerate It:

“Tolerate It” is the song from Evermore that best showcases Taylor’s voice and incredible range. The chorus and bridge are written and sung very well, and Swift’s ability to smoothly transition from one octave to the next is a gift that not all artists have. The verses of the song are lyrically beautiful but don’t stand out the way that verses in other songs do. I guess you could say we tolerated them. We actually more than tolerated them, we like them a lot.

10. Long Story Short:

It’s a solid song. It is upbeat and catchy but, nothing stands out. It is an easy listen and definitely a great tune to put on while hanging out with friends, doing homework, or some other sort of activity. However, it would get skipped five times out of ten. It is not the best upbeat song on the album, leaving it on the bottom half of the list. So long story short, the song is alright.

9. Ivy:

Overall, “Ivy” is a pretty good song. It’s easy to listen to and there isn’t a lot about it that we didn’t like. It’s not slow enough to be a slow song, but not upbeat enough to be an upbeat song. So, it falls somewhere in between. While we liked it a lot, we didn’t love it enough to place it in a higher spot. Our love for this song does NOT fit in the palm of your hand.

8. Willow:

Don’t get us wrong, “Willow” is a great song. But it’s missing a certain something that makes you want to listen to it on repeat, which is what places it on the lower half of this list. The more we listen, the less we know if we want to listen to anything other than our queen Ms. Swift.

7. Evermore:

What causes one song to be ranked higher than another is having something in that song really stand out. “Evermore” has just that. During the bridge, the tempo of the song speeds up as Swift and Bon Iver begin singing together in a call and answer format. Their voices match perfectly. Just as the title says, we will be listening to this for-’Evermore’. 

6. Marjorie: 

“Marjorie” is a great song. It gained its spot on the top half of this ranking because of its catchy lyrics and beat. It’s an easy listen no matter what mood you are in. It’s a song that could easily fit into any playlist. “Marjorie” is one of the most versatile songs on the album. This song is alive, in our heads, it’s alive, it’s alive. 

5. Coney Island:

“Coney Island” is one of THE most underrated songs on this album. Swift and the National’s voices harmonize together perfectly. We will most definitely be sitting on our own bench in Coney Island listening to this song on repeat. 

4. Gold Rush

Can not say enough good things. Just can not. This song makes us want to drop everything and dance while screaming the lyrics of this masterpiece. Pure gold. This song is pure gold (rush.)

3. Tis’ the Damn Season:

I, Tanner, absolutely love this song. While it is not the most lyrically impressive song on the album, I think it is so catchy. Upon first looking at the title, I was fearful that it was a Christmas song. But, knowing Taylor, she wouldn’t do that. Caroline was a bit hesitant about listing this song so high on the list. The title really threw her off as well, but once she gave the song a chance she ended up really enjoying it. Tis’ the damn season, Taylor, tis’ the damn season.

2. No Body, No Crime:

We think she did it, and we can prove it. Taylor Swift has written another hit song. This time she takes on murder. What can’t she do. This song perfectly guides listeners through the story of a murder “mystery” while still engaging them with catchy lyrics and an upbeat tune. This song is enough to make us want to meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a binge listen of Evermore.

1. Champagne Problems:

“Champagne Problems” is a musical masterpiece. We really just can’t give it enough praise. The lyrics: incredible. The story: captivating. The bridge: iconic. Our only (champagne) problem is that we can’t stop listening to this song. 

There you have it, our ranking. To say that ranking this album was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to do would be an understatement. In conclusion, we love Taylor Swift. Oh, and Go Dubs!