Picture this: Tall, dark and handsome — but with a twist. His cuffed pants hang just above his ankles, leaving little to the imagination. His oil-slick hair hangs just above his acne-ridden shoulders as if the grease from his unwashed hair will disguise his emotional unavailability. With the same kick he uses to start his skateboard, he successfully steals the heart of every girl in a ten-mile radius. That’s right ladies, it’s every girls knight in shining armor: the greasy skater boy.

The greasy skater boy is the most elusive breed of the modern-day heartthrob. They can often be found perusing around skate parks waiting patiently for the next unexpecting girl clad in mom jeans and heart-shaped sunglasses. While this breed of boy is rare, they are the most sought after version of the modern day boyfriend: unavailable, unctuous and undeniably oily.

Junior Cecilia Affer is an unfortunate victim of the elusive skate park Romeo, but doesn’t plan to divert her infatuation anytime soon. “I like skater boys because they make me feel bad about myself,” she said, “They’re so appealing because they disappoint me and keep me wanting to chase them.”

Affer says this affliction for acne-ridden skate park affiliates has been an ongoing issue throughout the entirety of her life. “I have always liked being disappointed by otherwise nasty skater boys,” she said.

Junior Ansley Booth says her passion for the average greasy boyfriend was something she developed over time and while some may criticize the possibly dangerous affection, she doesn’t regret the habit. “I haven’t always had this problem,” she said, “I like them because they are so unavailable that it makes me want to get to know them.”

Senior Jorge de Aristegui is a certified greasy white boy with all of the definable traits: long hair to disguise his nonchalant attitude and grease to deflect his insecurities. “I tend to exhibit a careless attitude because life’s too short to care, dawg,” said Aristegui, “I’ve always strived to be a greasy white boy.”

From tall to short, skinny to skinnier, this unparalleled version of the modern Romeo comes in all shapes and sizes with one goal: remain elusive, attractive, and unavailable. So ladies, remember this next time you’re mouth is watering over the guy wearing the Golf le Fleur shirt in your fourth period: There’s always another one at the skate park.