The Greek philosopher Cicero once said, “Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.” And the grand majority of teenagers will agree that good old Cicero was onto something.

After a long, grueling day of demanding teachers, crowded hallways, and intense studying, most high school students want to push the day’s events into the rearview mirror. But alas, this stance is something our inquisitive parents don’t abide by much.

Around these points we arrive at a consideration of the dreaded “how was your day?” question that many students contend with upon crossing the household threshold every afternoon or evening.

Although many students’ parents simply want to express love through concern for their teen’s day, many adolescents see this unpretentious question as a burdensome request to describe – in extreme detail – all of the exhausting details of the previous seven hours. On its face, the question seems harmless enough. After all the open-ended question from mothers and fathers does represent a genuine attempt at legitimate conversation-making. After all, we are their children. That said, the query requires our sifting through every tedious detail of our day. “I hate when I get in the car with my mom in the afternoon because it is inevitable that she will ask me how I am doing right away,” said junior Claire Denning. “I just want five minutes to relax before I think about school … again.”

Sophomore Addie Brahana said she finds the question troublesome because she knows it always comes on the heels of the inevitable parental advice. “Honestly I just want to vent,” she said. “I have no interest in hearing advice from my parents when they might not comprehend the complexity of some situations.”

It is normal for a parent to want to confirm that their high-schooler is happy. Those who study such matters say that it’s generally more effective to ask specific questions, perhaps along the lines of how a certain project is going or how a particular class is advancing. Further, child psychologists have discovered that allowing teenagers to vent is not the same as endorsing their complaining. In fact, these same psychologists say, just allowing an adolescent to rant without parental intervention leads to a healthier and less burdened outlook on school.

At the end of the day, it is important to remember that like many adults, students wish to keep their “work” life and home life separate. Many parents would be surprised, however, how open teens are to talk after a snack of Chick-fil-A, an episode of “Parks and Recreation” and a good hour to process the various problems, traumas and crises of high school life.