iFailure?

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Apple has released its most technological phone yet, which is bound to be a iFailure.

Before dawn on Sept. 16, countless people could be seen sprawled outside electronic stores nationwide, complete with tents and sleeping bags for the cold of night. Nobody batted an eye. After all, this is what happens when a new iPhone is set to release the following day. Everyone will buy it and those who don’t are suddenly looking at an outdated, useless piece of junk. As for those Android advocates: get with the program! Apple is clearly the reigning champion among all age groups.

However, will they stay that way? Many drastic changes to the new iPhone 7 have made the weeks just prior to the release rife with irritated – even furious – mutterings of dissent. This is happening not long after the Apple Watches flopped miserably in June. Together, these construct an overall feeling of a decline in popularity of Apple in consumers’ minds.

Headphone jacks – or the lack thereof – are causing the most controversy and it is not hard to discern why. Earbuds are ubiquitous in our society: people can be seen using them jogging on early mornings, to drown out noise of the bus or droning teachers, or even to make themselves seem too busy to be bothered at that moment. Still, this isn’t just a cultural change, and if it was, people would have warmed up to it by now.

For most, the largest issue is the cost of the replacement wireless bluetooth headphones or “AirPods” as Apple has very creatively named them. Priced at a whopping $159, these tiny devices are too expensive for anyone to afford to lose them, but as proven previously by the more distinct headphones with wires, this happens anyway every single day. Admittedly, most people resort to knockoff $5 brands from the pharmacy once the first pair is out of commission and surely that will happen this time around, but $159 and $40, the cost of the regular buds, are quite different numbers, and hence the uproar. In addition, the only way to use headphones now is through the charging port. While it’s a silver lining that they’re still usable, unlike when the iPhone changed chargers several years ago, this means that people cannot charge and use the headphones at the same time. And that is a luxury no one wants to lose.

In response to the collective meltdown, Apple’s marketing chief Phil Schiller said, “It comes down to one word. Courage. The courage to move on and do something better for all of us.”

That is not the word many people would use to describe it. “Idiotic” and “arrogant” are better.

The true reactions to this decision have yet to play out in full. And there are other important updates in the Appleverse to discuss, such as the gun emoji being swapped for a water gun, the release of iOS 10, double the storage amounts, and more. However, I’m calling it now: the iPhone 7 is doomed to be an iFailure.