Jingle bells ringing, carolers singing, gone away is the bluebird: you’re walking in a winter wonderland. The only thing that could make this picturesque vision even better is a grocery bag of Trader Joe’s holiday items in hand. The unstoppable duo is back and better than ever, dishing the deets on TJ’s holiday drops.
1. Dark Chocolate Stars:
This chocolatey champion of Christmas cookies is returning to the shelves for the 15th holiday season in a row. If we had to describe tasting a dark chocolate star in only words, we would say “pure bliss.” This star-shaped shortbread cookie has the perfect combination of sweet mint to compliment the rich chocolate. Each bite guarantees a satisfying crunch. And, you get plenty of bang for your buck: each box comes with an entire pound of these treats. All we can say about this one is ate.
2. Dolce Creamy Gorgonzola Style Cheese:
While the title of this cheese may be witty, consuming it is a less humorous experience. Directions state to let the wedge sit at room temperature to “tame” the aroma – you can’t make this stuff up. After letting the aroma diffuse – in order to avoid the burning of our nostrils – we went in. Somehow this cheese is sweet and sour at the same time – two characteristics a cheese should never have. Trader Joe’s describes the cheese as offering “a different tasting experience in every bite.” We don’t believe this is a compliment. Blue? More like a hunk of P.U. We HATE this.
3. Cookie Mug Hangers:
These gingerbread cookies are the perfect decoration for a glass of milk or mug of hot chocolate. The gingerbread men are designed to hang over the side of your favorite drinking vessel. However, the cookie flavor is classic gingerbread: mid! There is nothing new or unique about the cinnamon crunch that accompanies the gingerbread man. This is a classic case of style over substance. Cute in theory, but debatable in execution.
4. Candy Cane Joe Joe’s:
We didn’t think it could get any better than the Pumpkin Joe Joe’s featured in the last edition of AHoD. For the first time ever, we were wrong. We hate to admit it, but the delicacy that is a Candy Cane Joe Joe is the perfect combination of consistencies that is so sought after in holiday treats. It is a twist on the classic Chocolate Vanilla Creme Joe Joe – retaining the traditionally beloved chocolate cookie but studding the creme filling with crushed peppermint pieces. Not gonna lie, Mary cried real tears upon first bite. Clearly, this item ate.
We were lenient this time because we’re not scrooges. Trader Joe’s, you’re safe – until next year. To the rest of you Warriors, stay away from gorgs and their odors. Happy Holidays!
