Crisp chill to the air. Change in the leaves, and chatter concerning Halloween costumes can only point to one thing: Trader Joe’s fall items are here. TJ’s enthusiasts have been counting down the days until this hallowed drop. We have taken it upon ourselves to distinguish the hits from the misses. You’re welcome, Warriors.
1. This Pumpkin Walks into a Bar:
TJ’s wittily-titled Nutrigrain-esque granola bar line has taken a seasonal turn. This edition is pumpkin. While the bar is overwhelmingly beige, its flavor is not lacking. The pumpkin jam-like filling is perfectly balanced with the soft, not-too-sweet exterior. This is the perfect pre-pumpkin carving or post-corn maze exploring snack. In summary, this item ate.
2. Honey Crisp Apple Cinnamon Greek Yogurt:
Looking for an off putting snack to make your stomach churn? Look no further. As soon as we crinkled back the foil on this splotch on TJ’s record, we were repulsed. The strong stench of yogurt was barely masked by the excessive amount of cinnamon mixed in. Mary was quite jarred by the texture of the random chunks of apple thrown in and the overall taste bud abuse. Annie didn’t deign to sample this one, as she despises yogurt. It’s fair to say that this falls in the ‘hate’ category.
3. Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s:
The eye-catching box of Joe-Joe’s (TJ’s take on Oreos) depicts a picturesque farm in hues of burnt orange and yellow – the main feature of which is a Joe-Joe portrayed as a pumpkin. Someone give Joe’s graphic design team a raise! Our expectations were set high upon the sight of this beautiful packaging, and we were not disappointed. While it is yet another monochromatic delicacy, the flavors paint a picture that color never could. This is the entirety of fall condensed into one bite. Clearly, this item ate.
4. Fall Leaf Corn Tortilla Chips:
Calling all salt enthusiasts! While the leaf shape and bright, fall colors make this item stand out, there is not much else to be said about it. Not because we’re hitting our word count, but because this was so unbelievably mediocre. The blandness overpowers any positive qualities these chips may have. Pair them with a nice hummus, and then perhaps they would be interesting enough to develop an opinion about. Socks were not knocked off. In conclusion, this item is debatable. It won’t be flying off shelves anytime soon.
5. Apple Cider Donuts:
We had HIGH expectations for this one. Apple? Cider? Donut? Can’t go wrong! Upon the first opening of the simplistic cardboard box, we were hit with a whiff so sweet it was as if we were walking into a local bakery on the first chilly day of autumn. Our anticipation was at an all time high. The donuts were an auburn brown and heavily coated in sugar – legend has it that the crumbs from this donut are still in Annie’s car to this day. After we took our first bite, we realized it was evident that Joe is relying on the copious amount of sugar topping this donut to make up for the blandness of the donut itself. While the donut wasn’t exactly unacceptable, our high expectations were dashed. Therefore, this item is debatable. Consume at your own risk!
So, run as fast as you can to grab the Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s – but make sure to steer clear of the honey crisp apple cinnamon greek yogurt if you value your taste buds. Happy Fall!
